Dear Altered Images

Re: I Could Be Happy

Considering that we have never met, and I have most certainly not been in pursuit of you, I find it most alarming that you are considering going to such great lengths to get away, run away, far away from me.

Furthermore, whilst climbing a tree or fleeing on holiday to Skye may not at all be hazardous to the fleet of foot, and as a keen fan of Agatha Christie, I fear your proposed 1800 yard breast stroke across a watercourse or estuary riddled with venomous snakes and spiders, huge aggressive crocodiles, disease, and, according to Madness, a gummy pensioner in a semi-saturated balsa wielding a long broken stick, to be not only be excessive but potentially life-threatening

It is therefore recommended that if intent on this inexplicable evasion, rather than a proposed swim of a mile down the Nile, your temporary concealment in your dark cupboard, which one assumes must be great roomy if so many can fit inside with your great big cake, would be far, far preferable.

I would if I was you!




Derek Philpott (and son)


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