Dear Mr. Amitri,

It is refreshing in this day and age of Lady Gagas, Princes and Marquis Smiths, to encounter a pop star whose very title shuns bogus social elevation and encourages warm familiarity with his 'fanbase'. I too am sometimes referred to by the abbreviatory term for Derek, but normally this informality is reserved for immediate friends and family.


Sadly I must take issue with one of your 'folksy anthems'. For example, the very fact that post office clerks put up signs saying 'position closed' and secretaries turn off typewriters and put on their coats are clear indicators, contrary to the title of the piece, that ''nothing ever happens''. The very acts of displaying cashier non-activity notifications and de-activating electrical machinery both entail kinetic energy and the movement of inanimate objects. Furthermore, even were it to be correct that the ''the needle returns to the start of the song'', said occurrence can only be construed as repeitition, and not, as you state, a vacuum.


I sincerely hope that you have ''something'' to say about these erroneous lyrics in the near future





Derek Philpott



Reply from Justin Currie, received 10/7/2014

Dear Derek and Wilf,

Many thanks for your enlightening comments on my masterpiece of gobbledygook, Nothing Ever Happens.

Your points are valid and the general theme of your argument - that by virtue of describing things happening in the song, the chorus "Nothing Ever Happens" becomes contradictory - holds


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