Dear It's Immaterial

Re: Driving Away From Home

My wife Jean and I are most intrigued by your ''Sprechgesang smash'', and feel there to be some ''mileage'' in attempting to elicit some ''Kind Words'' from you in response to several queries that I have compiled. ''Is That Alright?'

Assuming so, I am somewhat aghast that you should instruct your designated driver to just get in, close the door and put their foot down, which it is to be assumed to refer to initiate instantaneous acceleration. Forgive my suggesting, my unpertinent correspondees, that ''The Better Idea'' may have been to ensure that both the unnamed motorist and all passengers, especially children and infants, if applicable, were ensured to have had all of their seatbelts securely fastened, and that Section 2, paragraph 163 of The Highway Code, more colloquially recognised as ''Mirrors - Signal - Manoeuvre'' was observed prior to setting off at speed from a kerb ''In The Neighbourhood''.

It should also be considered that, not unlike your 'band name', the appendation of ''or more'' to a thirty mile boundary reference, thus disestablishing an apical parameter to it, renders said quoted distance extraneous. Put simply, the voiding of an upper ambit limit does somewhat despecify and therefore invalidate the detailing of any range whatsoever.

Moreover, ''Heaven Knows'' how many times I have been late for an engagement on account of relying on the estimated arrival time displayed by my 'Sat Nav', which has rather optimistically surmised that there would be no roadworks, low bridge to high juggernaut impediments, 'school runs' or floodings at any point of my journey. Therefore, unless of course one's device is able to connect to the internet and draw on live traffic data, to state in the public forum of the pop charts that it is only thirty nine miles and forty five minutes to Manchester, especially when ignorant of the audience's current location at the time of listening to ''Your Voice'' could be construed as both presumptuous and misleading.

Finally, It's Immaterial, although many of us with ''An Ordinary Life'' only own one property, there are others, including, until recently, MPs for whom the second-home allowance was scrapped in 2011, resulting no doubt in numerous ''House For Sale'' signs, who do. For this particular section of society, ''Driving Away From One Home But Towards Another'' would surely be a more accurate, if admittedly less hummable 'offering'.

On a lighter note, my wife Jean is very keen to learn more about the shop that you like where you can get anything. Even her favourite retailer, Beales on Old Christchurch Road, as varied and all-encompassing as it is, still lacks next week's Lotto Rollover numbers, twenty years off of her age, and World Peace.

I remain,

Yours sincerely,

Derek Philpott


Reply from John Campbell, received 11/3/2015


Dear Mr P and Jean,


Thank you for your correspondence of which I received the other day and have since been ruminating over. Your deep slice research into my back catalogue seems to have thrown up a number of counts on which you hold issues, particularly pertaining to the title; 'Driving away from home.' Allow me to attempt clarification.


I take on board your


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