Dear Mr. Parr,

Re: St. Elmo’s Fire (Man in Motion)


I had to go to the optician’s last week for a check-up and although I did soldier on, as only I can do what must be done, telling myself I can make it, I know I can, I could only decipher down to the 4th line of the chart without making a total hash of it; whereas last year I got as far as the one below. Although the young lady told me this was nothing to worry about and my future’s lying in a slightly stronger prescription, I was concerned enough to consult the NHS Choices website, whence I learnt that one’s eyes finish developing at age 7 and generally don’t degenerate until after 40.


Although pleased to learn therefore of the bizarre canonisation of my son's favourite Sesame Street character when he was growing up, I must strongly disagree with your assertion that growin' up, you don't see the writing on the wall.


On an unrelated note I am slightly alarmed that you propose to ascend Everest on a pushbike or motorcycle; I fear that to climb the highest mountain on a pushbike or a motorcycle under the misapprehension that all you need is a pair of wheels may result in an untimely death, or, at very best, “if you feel the pain”, a man in traction.

One must therefore strongly request that you abandon this treacherous expedition, Sir, with hope riding high that my advice will be heeded.





Derek Philpott



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