Dear Junior

Father used to say that when I was little he remembered taking me to feeding time at Regent's Park Zoo and I became very uppity that all I could see was other mums’ and dads’ legs. It was not until he picked me up that I got ''Another Step Closer'' to viewing all the penguins scrambling round to catch untinned herrings thrown at them from a bucket.

In answer to your small boy's enquiry therefore asking when he will see what grown-ups do see, my response, assuming the average height of a six year old, would have be that: this can be achieved prior to adolescence when hoisted up by a parent or guardian or elevated by means by a collapsable ladder or chair approximately 3 feet (or 0.9144 metres), albeit without the impediment of slightly depleted eyesight bought on by the onset of ageing

On an unrelated matter, Junior, my son David is wondering if there was some sort of bug going around between the years 1982-87 which he cannor remember, causing popstars to growl choruses because of a sore throat, in spite of Tunes. We believe that Mr. Goss out of Bros to have been similarly afflicted.

There is no rush to respond to this missive. Take it in your stride and Take your time, young man!


Derek Philpott (and Son)


Dear Mr Perplexed,


I hope that I can shed some light on your diagnosis, although I am not sure that a medical cure has yet been found for 'perplexitism' if there is such a word!!!

It must have been incredible and challenging finding out why 'Mama Used To Say', this is not for you. Like jumping out of a plane your perspective of the world is vast, allowing your inner being to see more. If by the age of 6 yrs old you hadn't realised that the West Indies had the best cricket team in the world then it was always going to be 'Too Late'; even so I do believe there is a chance for you.

Like the changing times we live in, if you're not there yet, I would suggest you try cycling as a way of configuring the complexity of time travel. You would be able to review every evening what was captured then compartmentalize it and it will become clear how the growl that Matt did following myself, has a long history. I cannot speak for Matt, as his growl may have originated from the Nether Regions!!! However, I can only speak for myself and I know where mine came from!!!

Still, while riding through Hyde Park on a lovely spring day with the wind blowing through your hair, that is if your still have hair and nature is not your barber.....playing dodgems with the footballs, that sense of danger felt when playing with your toy soldiers and having to lob a few over the barricade, the excitement felt when a few fell and didn't rise again!!!

I feel these things could add to your development in your persuit of wholeness.
I hope this has been if value to you. If you apply the strategies above, your time travel will move you 'Another Step Closer'.

Yours ever

Mr. Non Conventional
a.k.a Junior




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