Dear Kajagoogoo

I was sorry to learn from your ''80s favourite' that your muse appears to be suffering both from Ankyloglossia and respiratory problems. The former affliction, which, as you are no doubt aware, is a congenital anomaly restricting mobility of the tongue, may well, when attempted to be pronounced, cause ''oh'' to be ''ah''.


You are to be congratulated, Kajagoogoo, for providing the pop charts of 1983 with this ingenious illustrative example of the ailment's symptoms.

However, although advances in biological science do ''move a little closer'' to greater breakthroughs at an impressive rate, your implication that being tongue-tied and short of breath is also causal of acute bashfulness is one which I am sure would be open to question on the NHS Choices website. Furthermore, in the absence of source material, one feels it somewhat unfair to report, especially as unqualified pop stars, that modern medicine falls short of her complaint, considering that, for example, Benzodiazepines and Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors have a proven track record in combating anxiety disorders.

Finally, if you will excuse my slight facetiousness, it is hardly surprising that the poor girl is displaying signs of apprehension if she is being instructed to not even try and then try a little harder within a period of a mere two seconds.


Now Hush Hush yourselves and give the girl some space!




Derek Philpott


P.S. I was going to say ''Hang On Now'' as regards your assertion that dilation may be achieved whilst moving in circles, but you are in fact quite right. My wife Jean and I were recently sat 'in the round' with friends at an All You Can Eat Chinese Restaurant, and DID find ourselves expanding after probably two too many trips to the buffet!



Reply from Nick Beggs, received 28/4/2015



Dear Mr.Philpott.


Many thanks for your concern regarding Joyce.


You may be glad to know she has now returned to full health and is enjoying life at a more sedentary pace.


However I must point out


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