Dear Runny Riches Liquid Gold,


Re: Dance Yourself Dizzy

One finds it incomprehensible, especially in these times of popstars pretending to care for the environment in order to maximise their income, that any would publicise firing up radiators in already humid discoteques which just by the very nature of there being so many crammed revellers jigging inside are already likely to be very stuffy indeed.

Your anti-green floor-filler therefore, disclosing that ''Tonight they're turning on the heat'', is not ''such a treat'' for ‘clubbers’, whose dysequilibrium is far more likely to be symptomic of whooziness resulting from exposure to excessively high temperatures, than ''getting on down'' when they ''Boogaloo'', as evidenced by your clearly disoriented drummer’s brazenly feverish topless displays on Top of The Pops 2

We are also puzzled by your instruction that we somehow temporarily amputate or unscrew our lower limb extremities and replace them with a sole, heel and toe combination model reserved specifically for ‘’rug cutting’’ and must therefore at this time decline your kind invitation to put on our dancin' feet (tonight).

In conclusion, Pulpy Bling, we hope that ''this mad affair'' can be resolved without fuss or turning any immersions on and, if you are indeed burning everywhere (confusingly hardly a scenerio for increased torridity) cannot recommend highly enough a good dollop of Aloe Vera.




Derek Philpott



Dear The Philpotts

I agree that in Glenn Frey's case, when he sang that the heat is on, on the streets, this was a bit reckless, but in our case we were talking about cranking the thermostat up a touch so that everybody would take their coats off and the cloakroom in the disco could make a bit of money


Also I didn't actually mean take your actual feet off and replace them with dancing feet. When I am racking my brains I don't actually have a thinking cap or indeed any hat with a mind of its own


The Golden Daze is over, Thus dawns another day, I will Dance Myself Dizzy, in a technophobic way!!


Drink yourself silly On your back tonight, the record got to number two so we don't give a sh**te!!

Cheers Syd






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