Dear Mr. McAlmont,
In these days of an ever increasing class divide I am not only most impressed by the hit record that you have recorded, but the very fact that you have opted to collaborate with your valet (or 'Butler').
As a sometime viewer of Botched Up Bodies one can fully sympathise with the anguish and frustration that many experience at the hands of an incompetent surgeon. Indeed after a particularly hacked 'nip and tuck'administered upon an initially sprightly divorcee, I do recall the outraged client’s follow up consultation, whereupon being asked how she has been she responded that he couldn’t help her recover after what he did. The middle-aged mother of three then challenged the hapless doctor to tell her she was looking better, before in a testimony to the human spirit asserting that yes, she did feel better, yes she did feel alright, and well enough to tell him what he could do with what he had to offer (presumably a somewhat crude reference to a refusal of anything other than a 100% refund).
You are to be congratulated Sir for exposing these cosmetic charlatans further, although I must say that in your own case you may not be as scathed as you fear - you do strike rather a dashing figure, Sir, even now*
*I must add that I am happily married