Dear Quantum Jump

I recently heard your fictional isolated incognito Texan law enforcer homage ditty and initially took it to be all about that train station with the very long name in Wales.

Upon closer inspection, however, it sadly appears that you are championing a ’very untogether’ rogue vigilante whose Apache Quarters policing methods leave much to be desired and who is not even above drugging his own horse, (not in the traditional sense of performance-enhancing stimulants so that a 100-1 rank outsider may win the 2.15 at Doncaster) by passing a tote - no pun intended - to Silver.

Indeed, not only does does the demented disguised deviant ''catchee baddy'', hack off the top of his head and eat him up for breakfast in a Hannibal Lecter-like act of inexcusable cannibalism rather than take him in for questioning, he then boasts of ''saving a silver bullet'', clearly indicating the economical non-usage of a precious metal projectile to be directly related to the dispatching not of a hapless Native American tribesman but a werewolf

I put it to you portion pounce pop stars that, far from being celebrated, this is a sadistic and deluded and mounted one man posse, who, together his crazed Comanche side-kick, must be stopped at all costs, preferably hunted at a period within which his mask is on back to fronto

Godspeed my friends. Godspeed




Derek Philpott



"Dear Potpills:

It’s upsetting to men of our age to be informed that they have failed in their Life’s Work.

Old gits like us (we have achieved an age named after a sexual position —69 ), like you, like Mr. Gurnley who lives in the shed next door and is as proud as a monkey’s armpit to be 88 years old, pee our pants when we come to that derelict Autumn of prostrates and denied possibilities; when we are compelled to face the  “Consequences” , the utter nakedness of our failure to communicate.

We have received your letter addressed to  “Quantum Jump” our Research Institute — a division of I.M Stoners Secretarial College and Turkish Bath— with respect to our very serious Anthropological study of  the cultural climate during the early development of what is now the Western States of Trumpania. Our study drew attention to such critical observations as:

(a) the problems of Law enforcement in the early West, including the economic restrictions on the use of fire arms; 

(b) a detailed discussion of organic medical remedies, their usage and effects; 

(c) a thorough analysis of the relationship between horseman and horse;

(d) the osmosis effect of language transfer symbolized by Tonto”s use of expressions formed by the early Chinks who built the railways, words such as :”Catchee" and “Badee”;

(e) the interaction of indigenous peoples and men in costumes;



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