Dear Space

Re Neighbourhood


I am afraid, my continuous area-homaging amigos, that I have several pressing concerns pertaining to the community in which you reside which I feel duty bound to impart.

Firstly, if you are adamant that in 666 there lives a Mister Miller who is your your local vicar and a serial killer, the non-disclosure of this information to the Police Force may well implicate you as accessories to any further cleric-initiated atrocities.

As regards your statement relating to the transvestite at number 69 who is a man by day and a woman by night, whilst I do not doubt that the 'cross-dresser' may clothe diurnally in masculine attire and nocturnally in feminine garb, the matter of whether a gender reversal operation is performed every early evening, on account of both the strains on both the NHS and one's 'downstairs' should be open to question.

Furthermore, your statement that ''we will all be waiting when the bulldozers come, in a neighbourhood like this you know it's hard to survive so you'd better come prepared 'cause they won't take us alive'', is, I fear a perplexing paradox. It may reasonably be countered that by being prepared to unsuccessfully obstruct an oncoming excavator, the endurance to which you refer must surely be jeopardised by your JCB-matyrdom expiry willingness

In conclusion. I hope you will forgive me stating that, far from being ''a beautiful neighbourhood'' the combination of such a multitude of dubious personalities and other undesirables residing in this very long road may render it the most unsavoury thoroughfare since 'Benefits Street'




Derek Philpott


Reply from Tommy Scott, received 10/1/2015


Dear Derek,

OK, I'll give it a go.

Well, about the vicar, I used to be one of his favourite choirboys, if you get my drift, so I could hardly go to the cops could I?


Regarding the said Trannie, he was


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