Dear Steeleye Span


Re: All Around My Hat

I just purchased your ‘’Best Of’’ CD by accident, thinking that it had ‘’Reeling In The Years’’on it, but owing to that particular ebay seller having a no returns policy have decided to keep it anyway. I fully admit that I should have read the listing more thoroughly and am indeed overdue my annual check up at the opticians, who may well need to measure the diameter of my pupils or something with some of those metal Castroviejo calipers which are ironically more redolent of your ‘band name’ than the ‘jazz rockers’ that I mistook you for.

I must say that I was quite taken by your frond encircled headgear ’electric folk staple’, but was surprised when viewing its accompanying ‘promotional video’ to see that, in direct contrast to Men Without Hats, who despite their nomenclature, all wear hats in theirs, only your bass player had one on. Furthermore, the excellent ‘buffer’ feature, which seems to come free with most modern computers as they get older, afforded ample opportunity to observe that said Panama was most certainly not bordered by continuous foliage, but instead a rather fetching felt headband.

I am also somewhat befuddled as to quite how a justification, base intellect, duration and rational caution amalgam could possibly result in the revelation of a specious youth, to say nothing of your attribution of both weight and pruned branch solidity to said dubious bluffing juvenile exposing concoction. If therefore it is, as you claim, a quarter pound of reasons and a half a pound of sense, a small sprig of time and as much of prudence, that mixed together will enable one to plainly see that he is a false deluding young man, I would suggest that such a diabolic recipe would be of great interest to television executives eager to cash in on the potential for a ''Masterchef'' / ''Bewitched'' ‘crossover project'.

In conclusion, Steeleye Span, we fear your vegetation chapeau ditty to be depicting a tableau ''far far away'' from the truth, and would therefore be grateful to be furnished with a more factual explanation at your earliest convienience, although would recommend that this not be sent via Yodel, whereupon one would not be surprised to wait for even more than a twelve month and a day.



Derek Philpott


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