Dear Storey

Re: Wander Free


There was a major incident at the Premier Inn today, Storey, where I was staying prior to a friend's wedding at Ealing Town Hall. After a smooth ceremony there was uproar when in his speech The Best Man, a keen guitar player, remarked that after a lifetime of freedom, and very much like those embarking on six-string Theory, the groom was now well and truly entering into the CAGED System.

I digress, however. The economical hotel's lift exit on the ground simile of your band name became jammed as the result of an electrical malfunction, and having recently heard your empowering feelgood anthem, I insisted to the Receptionist that the Fire Brigade would not need to be called, as, if your observation pertaining to my good self was to be believed - you think I'm amazing - a less wieldy and speedier option was available.


Centralising myself at its vertical groove, and whilst staff and guests looked on, I then spent the most gruelling 90 seconds of my life since waiting for the April 2009 final whistle sealing Brentford's League Two Championship with a 3–1 victory at Darlington, grinning widely until my cheeks ached at a resolutely undislodged Kone EcoDisc mechanism, before being manhandled away by a flustered breakfast busser.

In conclusion therefore I must counter that in this case you are grossly mistaken in being sure (yes, you're sure). My smile cannot open doors, Storey, and, as the thought won't leave, I am currently now reluctant to 'wandwe free'into any budget guest house officially endorsed by Lenny Henry, for fear of, ''Think about it, no doubt about it'' stifled sniggers from privy personnel.

Under the circumstances, gentlemen - it's now, the time is right - you may be better advised to rename your ''versatile indie rock'' combo Tall Storey with immediate effect!

I Bid You Good Day Sirs!!! Good Day, I Say!




Derek Philpott


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