Dear Tears For Fears


Re: Sowing The Seeds of Love

 

Just a couple of things, Tears For Fears and sorry for the rushed nature of this letter but I'm just in Argos at the minute. Our cat Gladys fetched up her Gourmet Gold Ocean Treat over my recliner earlier and am waiting for my number to come up for a sqeaky clean big chair.


1) Despite your assertion that the Love Train rides from coast to coast, please forgive my countering that the The O'Jays transportation venture may be doomed to failure. People all over the world joining hands, apart from being a logistical nightmare would, if achievable which is highly dubious, start a love CHAIN, on the basis that a ring of individuals loosely connected at the wrist could in no way be construed as a homosapiel locomotive

 

2) I find the concept that the D.J.'s the man you love the most to be quite offensive; to hold someone that merely plays records through an amplified system in higher esteem than male blood relatives, most specifically one's father, who is surely more qualified to such an accolade unless on Jeremy Kyle to undertake an ''all important DNA detector test'', is just not on, Sirs

 

3) Re; ''Food Goes To Waste'' How this embaressing topple has come to your attention is open to debate, but I confess that I DID slip on a discarded McMuffin in the Botanical Gardens earlier this week which DID result in egg on my face and mud on my shoes and I do intend to contact Claims Direct with regard to this matter as soon as I have finished my Christmas shopping

 

Right, 603 it is, sorry, hope to hear from you soon.

 

Bye for now!

 

 

Derek

 

Reply from Roland Orzabal received 11/12/2014

 

 

Dear Derek,

Thank you for your letter and your suggested corrections. 

Firstly, the Love Train was a real and not a metaphoric train. It used to run non-stop from Los Angeles to New York; going west it was the Amtrack #378 and going east #379. It got its name from

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