Dear The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band

I must say that even the most cursory of researches into the Apollo 11 mission reveals none of its key capsule ensconced personnel or indeed back up crew to have been from the countryside, Sirs, with Messrs. Armstrong, Aldrin, Collins, Lovell, Anders and Haise hailing from the distinctly non-rural locations of Auglaize County, Rome, New Jersey, Cleveland, Hong Kong and Biloxi respectively. It is therefore only appropriate that you collectively admit "We Were Wrong" in employing the definitive article when there is clear evidence that to be a non-bucolic missile-dweller is, far from unique, the norm, and that, at best, the work should have been accurately recorded as ''I'm An Urban Spaceman''.

Sadly, however, further investigations into your own workforce render even this correction counterfactual given that your lead singer, originating, as he does, from the village of Danbury in the parish of Chelmsford, must be considered as, at best, provincial and causal of the piece to be altered yet again (although on the plus side the definitive article can now be restored at least until such time as the existence of another rustic rocketeer can be proved) ''I'm The Suburban Spaceman''.

It is also to be feared that your stating that you do not exist, which is indeed an admirable admission given the arguments above-presented regarding the refrain in its present form, will only further encourage those proponents of the theory that a certain N.A.S.A. event was staged in a Los Angeles ‘parking lot’, employing a redundant “Star Trek” set and some slow motion photography.

It is therefore sincerely hoped that "For the Benefit Of Mankind" you have got everything you need to respond to this missive, be it by ''Postcard'', electronic mail or handwritten letter, and that ''The Strain'' of doing so will not cause you to remark in respect of my good self, "You Done My Brain In".

We remain,

Yours sincerely

Derek & Dave Philpott


Dear Philpotts


Thank you for your painstaking observations regarding the hitherto unchallenged title of our solitary hit “I’m The Urban Spaceman”.

Your somewhat unsettling interest in whether or not the precise geographical origin of an individual is either built up or Green Belt, is, I humbly suggest, a Red Herring.

Language is a long and slow river and when ancient peoples lived their lives between two such metaphors - as in Mesopotamia - the use of definite or indefinite articles made little or no difference to the Hittites of the day - until, of course, questions of an existentialist nature were raised. By definition, the Definite Article implies the existence of something - especially in a Collective Narrative - whereas an Indefinite Article is a vague and wishy washy thing - like a slogan on a Brexit Bus.

I deliberately chose the Definite Article for the notion of an Urban Spaceman - for the dramatic effect at the end of the song - revealing someone who does not actually exist.

Like a Truth on a Brexit Bus. Alas, it is not the Perfect World.

Yours sincerely

Neil Innes

[on behalf of A Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band]

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