Dear Peter Perrett

Re: Another Girl Another Planet

I was quite alarmed to hear on Jools Holland today that space travels in your blood, but am pleased to advise you, antithetical to your fallacious despondency, that there IS some thing that you can do about it.

It is clear from my extensive researches on your behalf this afternoon into many learned authorities but mainly the NHS Choices website, that the transiting arterial void to which you refer is most likely the interior of an air bubble or embolism, which malady, whose symptoms include acute disorientation and extreme fatigue, may well induce the sensation of being located upon a commensurate orbiting body accompanied by an unfamiliar female, looking ill, and long journeys wearing you out.

Rather than ''flirt with death'', it is therefore strongly recommended that you call an ambulance immediately, Sir, with a view to being taken straight to the nearest hospital. Under no circumstances should an unreliable vehicle be used to speed you to an out of the way infirmary, thereby risking your ''breaking down'', ''miles from nowhere''.


Derek Philpott



Reply from Peter Perrett received 15/2/2015



Dear Mr. Philpott


Having seen your long list of contributors, I am most disappointed (nay, almost insulted), that it has taken you so long to contact me with your serene and much-appreciated advice.


I have vast experience in these matters….I once delivered a dead


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