Dear The Piranhas


Re: Tom Hark


Whilst concurring, as stated in your faux-ska hit 'Tom Hark', that life is directly the opposite to death, ie. you have to live or else you'd die, I take issue with your assertion that I have to laugh or else I'd cry. Quantification that jollity and sobbing are the only emotions known to the homosapian is direly needed. For example, I am currently writing this on my computer typewriter straight faced, which could be construed as a limbo state.

I might also point out that your attempts to build your holiday plans around World War Three are most futile given that, in the event of global conflict it is unlikely that most travel agents and airlines would be permitted or indeed motivated to continue trading. Furthermore, from personal experience I can confirm that closing one's eyes and counting to ten is likely to exacerbate rather than 'vanish away' tragedies, as I learned to my cost on a dry ski slope in Middlesex in 1978.

As regards your observation that they want you in the army but you just can't go, you're far too busy listening to your radio, not only is this attitude cowardly but I fail to see that a pre-occupation with Terry Wogan et al could excuse your enforced conscription. 

Now pack your bags!"



Derek Phipott



Reply received from Bob Grover 13/3/14


Hello Mr Turnbull & Mr. Philpott

Your description on Tom Hark is very appropriate. It could indeed be considered 'faux ska' as it is a kwela song from southern Africa, which I believe to be several inches away from Jamaica on most peoples' maps.


The line 'You have to laugh or else you cry' was aimed at the 360,000


To see Bob Grover's full response click here to pre-order your copy of ''Dear Mr. Kershaw - A Pensioner Writes''



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