Dear The Stranglers
I am fascinated by the sentiments expressed in the above composition, although I must confess that I find Mr Cornwell’s vocal style rather less than melodically appealing.
I have enjoyed countless beach holidays in the British Isles and elsewhere over the years, yet so far have never encountered a seashore strewn with peaches, or any other fruit for that matter. However, I do perhaps recall witnessing an abandoned nectarine at Perranporth at some time in the mid-1960’s. I would be most grateful if you could divulge the location to which you refer, as my wife and I are particularly fond of said fruit, and its refreshing, juicy flesh would no doubt enhance the timeless enjoyment of a warm summer’s day by the sea.
I recently observed a group of four men busying themselves with some kind of apparatus, at my nearest coastline. They appeared to be engaged in the pursuit of small objects lying in, or just under, the sand, and it occurred to me that it may have been yourselves, i.e. Messrs Cornwell, Burnel, Black and Greenfield, equipped with "peach detectors". However, I swiftly dismissed this notion, as the relevant lyric would surely have read "walking on the beaches, looking for the peaches". This would of course irrevocably distort the message you intended to convey.
I would very much appreciate a prompt response; we are planning to visit the Gower peninsula next summer, but are willing to alter our plans for such a unique experience. Of course an appropriate period of notice would be required should a cancellation be necessary.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.