Dear The Zombies

I happened upon your absent female conundrum today whilst searching for when the next lot of The Walking Deads was due out, considering that this is normally the time of the season.

Whilst fully acknowledging that she is absent, and although I unsuccessfully ''Look For A Better Way'' to express it, ''As Far As I Can See'', the unpresent female’s location is, by dint of your own shortcomings, likely to remain elusive.


I will ‘’Begin Here’’, my undeceased friends. One finds it odd that you would offer to furnish me with a full physical description of the missing person via behavioural traits and hair colour, and then singularly fail to do so.

It is also, without wishing to defame you in any way, rather hard to verify your description of somebody who is not only obscured through non-attendance but who you also then tell me I should not waste my time looking for anyway by not bothering to try and find her.

As for your tardy apology admonishment, I would counter that it is not too late to say I'm sorry, not due to any time restraints but simply because to the best of my knowledge I have not done anything wrong

In conclusion, if you are indeed intent on locating this missing person, it is recommended, ‘’Whenever You're Ready’’, but ‘’Maybe Tomorrow’’, to get in touch with Crimewatch with complete and uncurtailed specifics concerning the accent through which her voice was soft and cool, the way she looked, the way she acted and the colour of both her hair and her clear and bright eyes.

I wish you well in your endeavours and remain

Yours sincerely


Derek Philpott




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