Dear Then Jerico

For reasons that I shall not bore you with, Then Jerico, I am based near London at the moment, and was, to say the least, ''taken by surprise'' upon reading in an Evening Standard left on the all stations to Uxbridge this evening (for which I was waiting for so long) that a lock-up in Kensington was going for half a million pounds.

Assuming that you have not re-located from your own residence in the Capital, ''You Ought To Know'' that, whilst I am not exactly sure of where your vast expanse is situated, it is extremely likely that its amplitude alone would value its worth as far in excess of this sum, especially if situated in a ''Quiet Place''.

With this in mind Then Jerico I hope you will excuse my lack of sympathy upon hearing you complain that you are ''living far beyond your means'' whilst simultaneously boasting of this big area of yours (suggesting a mortgage-free possession), especially when elsewhere in your back catalogue vis a vis ''The Motive (Living Without You)'' you imply that you are a singular occupant within said prodigious extent.

Jean’s friend Lynda from the craft shop found herself in a similar position last year whereby she had run up considerable credit card debts as a result of ''comfort spending'' after a complicated divorce, and was rattling around a three bedroom flat all on her own in something of a depressed state. Rather than ''Let Her Fall'' into a   quagmire of unachievable repayment options and have her ''Reeling'' into further financial hardship, however, she was delighted to be advised by the Citizen’s Advice Bureau that her two main options, that of downsizing to a smaller property thus releasing up to £235,000 in much needed equity, or taking in a lodger, would both eradicate her financial problems.

Pertaining to your own situation and if you prefer not to sell but co-habit with a tenant of the same profession, I understand from the radio today that Mr. Trent D’Arby is seeking accommodation at present and am sure that he would be most appreciative if you let him stay.

I am not suggesting that it is your ‘’Fault’’ per se that you were not aware of these frugality solving solutions given that as a pop star it is not really within your remit. It ought be posited however, if you will forgive me, that ''All In All'' I am surprised that ‘’Some People’’ within your organisation or fan base have not availed you of these recommendations sooner than ''Now Jerico''.

I hope that the above is of assistance in restoring you to prosperity and remain,

Yours sincerely,


Derek Philpott

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