Dear Mr Ocean
Re: Get Out of My Dreams (Get Into My Car)
Firstly I would like to apologise for my previous communication, in which I berated you for suggesting that I “go and get stuffed”. I confess that I was acting on aural evidence only, and can assure you that such carelessness on my part will not recur. I hope there are no hard feelings, as I am sure you will agree that it was an honest and understandable error.
I regret that this unfortunate episode must have scarred you somewhat as I now appear to loom large in your subconscious. I refer of course to your tuneful composition in which you extend an invitation to “Get Out of My Dreams and Into My Car”. Sadly, I feel that acceptance of such an offer would be inappropriate, for several reasons.
Despite our recent contact, we have not been introduced, and therefore I would consider our relationship to be firmly at the “pre-acquainted” stage. Were I to agree to your wishes, what message would we be sending, I wonder, to the “youngsters” who may form part of your “fan base”? Your motives for proposing this meeting remain unclear, and I sincerely trust that your intentions are not in any way malevolent. In addition, traversing the divide between the subconscious and conscious domains is likely to prove problematic.
Finally, I am reasonably satisfied with my current transport arrangements, as I qualify for a free bus pass, and am the owner, and designated driver, of a rather smart Nissan Micra. I am as yet unaware as to the make and model of your chosen vehicle, let alone the registration number; perhaps Mr Ocean, regarding this matter, you could be more “Pacific”!