Dear Mr Paul Young
Re: Wherever I Lay My Hat, That's My Home
I write with deep concern over your apparent assumption that the above is true. Simply placing headwear in another's property does not entitle the perpetrator to ownership under the British system; I am unaware of any other domain where such a claim is legally binding or indeed of any plans to introduce such a system. In view of your lyrical omission regarding the issue of consent, even a verbal agreement between the rightful owner and the "hat-wearer" cannot be assumed. Unfortunately such a cavalier attitude to property ownership would be unacceptable to the majority of homeowners and I am sure you would agree that the ramifications of the relevant legislation would be chaotic.
I regret to conclude that your legal advisors seem to have been rather less than rigorous concerning this matter and would advise you that until I receive assurances to the contrary you would be an unwelcome visitor to my personal address, particularly were you to be sporting headwear of any description.
Incidentally, my wife, brother-in-law and I very much appreciate your soulful yet uniquely English vocal style and consider said recent "release" extremely impressive (aside from the lyrical reservations described above), and a considerable improvement on your previous effort "Toast". Therefore we hope that you continue your good work, albeit with more reliable guidance.